Sunday, February 22, 2009

The worst of it

If you know me, you have heard about the family drama with my in-laws. I wrote the following email to Jessica* when i saw that she left a comment on Amandas* blog that said "finally , a blog that doesn't bash on teh family". I concluded that she could only be talking about me and wanted to address the issue head on. This is the email I sent:
*names have been changed to protect the idiots

i saw the comment you left on Amandas* blog. i can only assume you are talking about me. i can understand that you are angry with me. i can understand taht you are mad. i'm sorry this has upset you. i don't bash on your family on my blog. you read there frequently enough to know that the majority of my posts have absolutely nothing to do with the JOhnsons*. there have been a total of 3 posts about how my husbands family don't like me. 3. and that only came up after the star valley trip and all the crap that happened there. the final straw, to say. i had hoped that you had been on my side and supported me in all this. you never really were outspoken on the subject. i had always thought you my friend. we always got along when i saw you. my feelings were hurt. badly. if Albertos* family had said those wful things about you, would you just take it lying down? would you lash out? honestly think about your actions if you had been me, think of how scared i feel. i hate to see what it does to J (my husband), we just don't talk about it becasue i see how it hurts him. i;m sorry this is all so ugly. i never meant to be mean. the entries on my blog were for support and understanding from people who have gone through similiar ewxperiences. they weren't Johnson* bashing sessions. what do you guys want me to do? i'm now your nick. everyone hated nick, talked about how weird he was. i saw you do it, and now i am him. i know what's going on. there's nothingi can do to stop it. i don't know how to change it wihtout changing me, and that;s not going to happen.

This is the email I received back, from Alberto*, Jessicas* husband:


I have tried to stay out of this stupid blogging phenomenon but enough is enough. Jes* for one is asleep and does not know I am writing this. I tell you this so you can only blame one person for this.....me. You have told half truths about Jes's* family, slandered their names and reputation and have acted as if they have treated you with malice the whole time J and yourself have been together. You are not perfect as you like to portray yourself to be. I would like to start with a rebuttal to "blog title here".You said many things in your blog about our time at Star Valley. Your half of the story was told and now I would like to tell the other half:
-"told I was lazy"-when there was some type of work to be done Beau happened to be conveniently hungry and you would disappear. J would use his hurt ankle for an excuse for not having to do anything. I know when it was Amandas* turn to do something and one of the girls needed her attention, Tyrone* would take her place so one of the Carters's* was taking their turn. The same thing would happen with Jim/Staci* and my family. Why should your family be exempt?
-"Told to cover up while breastfeeding as to not make others uncomfortable"-first, breastfeeding is natural. Jes has breastfed all of our children so obviously we approve of this. Does she pull out her boobs for all to see in a crowded room to feed her children? Absolutely not. Why would she? This is something beautiful and natural but private and personal as well. It is great that you breastfeed your children but would it hurt you to put a blanket over yourself or go to another room to do this so as to not make others uncomfortable?
-"told you were a pornographer"-go ask your Bishop what he thinks about you posting naked pictures of yourself on the internet. If you are doing this to help build your self esteem then shame on J for not making you feel better about yourself. Your nudity should be something between you and Jake and no one else.
-"lied about not wanting to sit next to Sally (my MIL) because you were angry with her but the real reason was because you were chasing your kids"-who knows why you didn't want to sit next to Sally* but it wasn't because you were chasing your kids. I was there and know that your kids weren't running around.
"looked at weird because you home birth, hippie, natural medicine"-let me address each separately. Home birth- can you think that maybe we worry that an emergency might happen while you are giving birth and because you are not in the hospital you won't have the right tools/people to avert a tragedy? Hippie.........I can assure you that I for one could care less whether you are a hippie or not. Natural medicine.......if you took the time enough to get to know Jen you would know that she believes in some natural medicine also so these three gripes hold no merit.
-There were other things that you mentioned but what I wrote is enough. First, shame on you for saying anything at all against Doon* and Sally*. They have done nothing but help you and J. The Johnson family in it's entirety are incredible people. Are they perfect? Obviously no, no one is but they have always tried to make me feel welcome. You have always been an introvert when I have seen you at the Jphnsons's*. If you would look in the mirror and see that maybe it isn't everyone else but maybe it is you that has to change by meeting others half way. I couldn't have asked for better in-laws. I love them and am grateful for who they are and am a better person for being associated with them. Jim/Staci, Amanda/Tyrone, Mark*, Slater*, Katrina* are all incredible in their own way. I for one am grateful for each one of them and would do anything for them. You told Jes in your e-mail that if you were such a horrible person then leave you alone. She wrote Amanda a response to her blog not yours so first off mind your own business. The comment wasn't addressed to you.You also compared yourself to Nick. Before you talk about something know what you are talking about because if you don't it only makes you sound stupid. This is the man that a month after B's(a nother sister) death was already seeing another women. I have never been in Nick's shoes before as far as this situation goes and hope to never be but I know that If God forbid something were to ever happen to Jes, I would be in mourning for longer than a month and marriage would be the furthest thing from my head.Let it go. You keep on opening the scab. For the sake of J and the Johnsons's just leave it alone. Forgive and forget. I for one have been courteous to you out of respect to J, Doon, and Sally period.
I think you are lazy as you stated in your blog, twist the truth for your benefit so others will feel sorry for you, point your fingers at others to make yourself feel better, do certain things because you crave attention from others and don't care if it is good or bad attention. I feel sorry for the Johnsons's for having to put up with this s**t. I for one could care less what you think about me. You don't matter to me. Let's agree to disagree as you so eloquently put it in your letter to me. This letter was written solely by me so don't blame anyone else but me. Grow up and move on. We have already.


Alright, a little background:
  • when i first joined the fmaily, before B ever got sick, everyone warned me how weird Nick was and that I should just be prepared for it and I would sit with them while they would all tell stories about how weird he is and the strange things he will do. That was what I mean when I compared myself to Nick.
  • "sitting next to sally", we were the last ones in the dining hall because my kids refused to stop playing outside. Once our food came they were dissatisfied with it and started crying, disrupting the show. I took them out and didn't come back in. I learned that I had "hurt sally's feelings" when I got a phone call from staci telling me I shoudl apologize for being so mean.

Although I did have fun coming up with all these outrageous names, reading this email again has just made me sick, again. I am not a mean hateful person. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I really don't know myself. All I know is that I never posted names on my blog, I tried to keep it all mostly anonymous, and I never, ever attacked anyone personally like this.

And this is why I won't be talking to the Johnsons ever again. Merry Christmas suckers, see you in eternity (if you get there!)

1 comment:

  1. I've since learned that this fmaily is having all kinds of hard times. He might lose his job and consequentially their house. Their baby has to have a major surgery or he may never walk. And I have another juicy tidbit, but it is soooo gossip and I'm not sure if sharing it will help or just cement in your minds what a douche he is.

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